I've so far been able to connect to the pi by hooking it up to my laptop through an ethernet cable and following the tightvncserver process that allowed me to use the desktop environment from my laptop screen.
I have been able to connect to pi to wifi, while the ethernet cable is plugged in. However I can only connect when an ethernet cable is plugged into the pi from my laptop.
I have no idea how I can use a vnc over the wifi, without needing the ethernet cable. MOst tutorials on this are incredibly confusing, at the moment I can't find a tutorial that seems to be relevant to this problem and that is also clear and not too advanced.