From most of the sources I've read, I should be able to start my RPI and go:
Menu > Preferences > Raspberry Pi Configuration and select the interfaces tab. Here should be the option to enable / disable VNC. The problem is that I don't have this option. When I look here, VNC does not appear on this tab!!
It isn't clear however, whether the VNC option on the interfaces tab is the server or the client so I don't know whether I need this option or not.
Something must be installed as when I try to connect using RealVNC from my PC, I get an error saying the client actively refused the connection.
I am using