I'm a new user with my first Raspberry Pi 4 (model B), but don't have a separate monitor, keyboard and mouse.
I would like to use my laptop (running Windows) to use the Pi. 

So far I have:

 - Downloaded the OS (deafault Raspbian, 32-bit) onto a microSD
   card, loaded it onto the Pi and powered on.
 - Waited till the green light flickers, taking this to mean that
   the first boot is completed.

After this, I tried connecting the Pi to my laptop via ethernet and WiFi, with the intention to follow [these instructions](https://www.hackster.io/techmirtz/connect-raspberry-pi-to-your-laptop-screen-and-keyboard-a8a2a7) to SSH in and use VNC.

However, I am not seeing any connection to the Pi on my laptop. What do I do? 
I have checked [this question](https://raspberrypi.stackexchange.com/questions/137164/ssh-into-raspberry-pi-os-lite-not-working), whose answers call for adding a userconf file in the boot partition of SD, but the instructions were a bit technical for a newbie like me.
 A simple and idiot-proof set of instructions would be welcome.