So I had this problem with an RP 4, within 5 mins the router would crash. As silly as it sounds, changing the network cable ro a different brand means its been running for around 5 hours with no crashes. Hope this helps
With DHCP enabled, if all is otherwise well, your Pi should get an address on your local network. You will be able to see it in your router's tables or as raspberrypi.local assuming your phone is mDNS-capable.
You now need to configure your microSD card to start SSH on boot. The "start SSH" part is covered in the link I posted in the comments. You want ...
Have a look at the /etc/dhcpcd.conf file.
It needs to read something like
static domain_name_servers=188.8.131.52 184.108.40.206
Key thing is the static routers line - that should point to the home router to give internet access.
I solved my problem first by installing dhcpcd by running # apt-get install dhcpcd dhcpcd-gtk and then by uninstalling wicd by using # apt purge wicd, then # apt autoremove. Now if I unplug ethernet and reconnect it, it reconnects automatically.
This is NORMAL. You can have EITHER ICS OR ssh access, not BOTH.
It is not impossible to have both, but this requires additional software and complex configuration on the laptop, and this is off-topic for this site. NOTHING you can do on the Pi is going to make it work.
NOTE this Question has been asked before e.g. Why can I connect to my Raspberry Pi when ...
Very late reply, but I have done even more testing and found out more information.
The RPi4 cannot be set up to be an ethernet gadget itself. Originally, I had a chain set up where the RPiZ was plugged into the RPi4, and the RPi4 was plugged into my laptop.
The USB cables must be very good. A cable that successfully creates an ethernet gadget on my laptop ...
Removing a USB socket will achieve nothing: you won't be able to solder an RJ45 in its place anyway, and there's a chance you will damage your Raspberry while trying.
If your project has such constraints that there's no way to fit an USB Ethernet adapter, look into other boards. For instance there's Orange Pi R1 which has two Ethernet ports + WiFi and is ...